What 10,000 Selfies Taught Me About Confidence

Confession: I used to take a photo and delete it within seconds. Not because it was bad — I'd barely even look. My thumb just knew the way to the trash icon the way some people's knows the way home. For years, my camera roll was a graveyard of almosts.

The email that ruined my peace — in the best way

Then a skincare brand emailed me. They liked my writing — my captions, my reviews — and they wanted to pay me actual money to say those words on camera. I read the email eleven times. I called my sister and whispered "they want my face" like it was a threat. I almost said no. I almost said no to the thing that became my entire career because I was scared of being perceived.

I said yes because the money was good and my rent was due. Let's be honest about motivations.

Selfie #1 through #1,000 — the awkward era

The early footage is unwatchable. I smiled like I was being held hostage. I said "um" 34 times in a 60-second video — I counted, because self-torture is free. I filmed everything twice: once "for real" and once where I let myself be stupid, and guess which one the brand picked? The stupid one. The one where I laughed mid-sentence and kept going. People don't want polished. They want a person.

What I actually learned — confidence is reps

Here's the truth nobody posts about: confidence isn't something you find, it's something you practice. Selfie 1 was terrifying. Selfie 1,000 was Tuesday. Somewhere in between, my thumb forgot the way to the trash icon.

And the cheat codes are real, so let me save you 9,000 selfies: lighting does 80% of the work (face a window, thank me later), think of something funny right before you start (your eyes will crinkle and you'll look like yourself), and keep your hands busy (touch your hair, hold the product, exist like a human).

If you're the girl deleting every photo — hi, I was you. You don't need to feel confident to start. You just need to start, badly, 47 takes at a time, until one day you realize the camera isn't the enemy anymore. It's just a mirror that learned to be kind.